hmmm

I like this boy so much I cant help myself.

I dont want to get my heart broken again though.

Oh good god

broken leg is actually broken leg and fractured spine.

no sex for 5 more weeks.

I AM SO HORNYITHINKIMIGHTEXPLODE

Broken Leg

Not mine for a change, but T's.

Any of you have any experience of shagging a man with a broken leg?

Tips please.

urgrrrggghhh

Woke up in one stocking, my bra and both shoes on.

My dress was on the conservatory roof and my other stocking is stuck in the ceiling fan.

Also, I woke up in the bath.

What. The. Fuck?

oh man

its saturday night

im in a nurses uniform and im off my face on vodka which i accidentally drank while T was in the bath.

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Well well well

Things are certainly on the up.

Fist off, I'm still stuck at my shitty job and have to face JL everyday, well, I say that -I've actually been suspended for 5 days after punching him in the face in the foyer.

Now, I know what you are thinking, what the hell could make me punch him, well it started with a conversation over work messenger with a girl called Justice:


Justice:
So, whats going on with you and JL, why are you treating him so badly, like Im sure whatever happened cant of been bad enough for you to cut him out like this.

Justice:
I mean, come on, look at him.

Mina:
I dont really want to go into it

Justice:
Well it is you thats in the wrong here

Mina:
Excuse me?

Justice:
Well I just think you should know, everyone knows you cheated on him.

Justice:
You just dont even seem bothered.

Mina:
What the fuck? is that what he said?

Justice:
Yeah, he told me on here earlier on that you cheated on him with your ex and kicked himout of your flat.

Mina:
Seriously? Thats what he said?

Justice:
Yeah, i mean how could you do that I though you were in love with him.

Mina:
Right, Ive had enough now.

At which point I grabbed hold of him and dragged him out of the room before smacking in the face.

How the fuck could he tell people that? I thought people weren't talking to me because they didn't want to get involved, turns out its because they all think I'm a lying whore. So much for keeping a dignified silence and rising above it.

I don't regret it, I've been suspended on full pay which means I get to be away from the shitty place and I got to smack him in the face, which I maintain he fully deserved.

Soooooo, I hear you yell franticly, how on earth are things looking up?


Well, work stuff first; Ive been in quite high demand recently with work, the wedding season is back and Ive been photographing the shit out of weddings left right and centre, for a 6 hour wedding I'm getting around £300 straight into my bank which is going straight into savings, any extra time spent at a wedding is at £50 an hour so I'm happy happy financially for the time being, well I will be when it really kicks off in the next few weeks.

Also, may be getting a new job, well I almost certainly am. I'm not ashamed to say I've called in some favours to get it as its my best friends dad's company, but I don't care, its a cracking opportunity and its something creative and challenging. I won't say to much about it yet because its about 2 months away from being realised, but I am exited as it means getting away from shitty call centre and into a CAREER, yep thats right, I'm growing up and getting one!


On top of this, I am moving house. From a flat to a 5 bedroomed plot of Georgian gorgeousness overlooking the sea. I can't express how lucky I have been. My best friend is getting divorced from her horrible mistake of a husband and has been living with me temporarily while she gets stuff sorted. Her cousin has ridden in on a white horse and offered us this huuuuge house for £400 a month between us.
He bought it for next to nothing and has spent a fortune renovating it and would of happily given us it for free but I have insisted we pay something, after all, its going to be my home and we need a contract and I want to pay him for it.

Anyway, the house is 8 weeks away from being completed and the builders buggering off, but I'll give you a quick run down of it.
It has 3 floors (not counting the converted attic and basement), downstairs is a brand new kitchen, dinig room and living room plus a small bathroom and utility. Oh and a garden.
Both floors above are identical. One large bedroom, and much smaller bedroom and a large, full bathroom.

As Guy (the landlord) is happy for us to have it as long as we want and has the builders in, he has asked us if there is anything in particular we want putting in the house, along side the brand new kitchen/bathrooms/hardwood floors etc.
Sooo I put my option in, I want the smaller room on my floor to have library shelves, sounds sad, but its my dream to have my own library. He said fine, hes getting them to put them in for me around the original feature fireplace. *squeeeeeee*

I CANNOT WAIT!



Anywhoooo, I know my general life stuff isn't really that interesting so time to get on to my love life eh?

Well, I have a new man who has kind of just brushed away my JL troubles, and is part of the reason I have been on cloud nine for the past few weeks. I met him through one of my friends. When she suggested meeting him I was still in my pajamas being drip fed Ben & Jerrys and told her I just wasn't ready for anything, I didn't even want to just fuck anyone. I was not happy.
But being the trixy little minx she is she dragged me to the pub to get me out of the house for a while and there was T sat with her new man, Mark, chatting animatedly about Frank Miller.
I was shocked that I could really be interested in someone so soon after such a brutal heart smashing incident but, I don't know, he's just lovely.

So the lowdown.

He's 30, 6'2, blonde shaggy hair, bright green eyes, rugby player, slender but not skinny, graphic designer, own house, own car, own teeth ;)

Aside from the facts about him his general manner is delicious to be around. He is enthusiastic about everything he does, he is creative and stupidly talented at what he does. He's funny ad sweet and just a little bit nervous, which after having JL being so full of self confidence about how our relationship is actually a nice thing.
He knows Ive had shit with men and he isn't pushy which just makes me like him more. We haven't slept together yet, partially because I'm changing my birth control and have hormones flying haywire and he fell out of the loft and broke his leg so he's been a bit out of action.

But you know, thats okay. Theres no pressure on either of us to hurry into anything heavy, we just kind of both feel like it will all happen in due time. I'm happy with that, and until I can jump him I am ecstatic with sitting there and watching movies with him while his leg heals up.

Yes. I'm feeling pretty damn good right now.


Also, I have a FIERCE new haircut. I mean, I am smoking hot right now ;)

Emergency

The horny has taken over and I might of just had phone sex and wank in the toilets at work on my lunch hour.
Turns out my heart break is coming out in the form of rampant randiness rather than crying.


Oh well it burn more calories than sitting in my pants eating biscuits!


-- Post From My iPhone

Up and on.

So JL is a cunt, he's getting nasty, wants to ruin my life, yadda yadda yadda. Frankly its dull and boring and I'm fairly sure you lot have have mooooore than enough of me being dull and boring. I have had enough of it to be perfectly honest.

without wanting to sound like the bitter harridan that I undoubtably am, I have let a lot of myself go over the past six months with JL, something which I had not noticed happen, but apparently other people have. 

Now I'm not saying that going out and getting horridly drunk is a good thing, but I used to be a real party girl. I could stay out until 4am and the bouncers kicked us out. I used to play poker with the boys and go paint-balling and do shots and sing on karaoke and just generally get up to mischief.

Alarm bells should have gone off at my rapidly declining personality and sense of fun when out with the chaps and JL one thursday night, when at 11.30pm JL told me it was time to go home and I immediately picked up my bag and jacket. J, one of the chaps stopped me and asked where the hell I was going seeing as it wasn't even midnight and Journey hadn't even been on. Anyway J demanded of me "WHO'S BITCH ARE YOU?! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?"

I took exception to this and told him to fuck off, rightly so as I was no-ones bitch, right? WRONG. Turns out I kind of had become the subservient little woman, something I never expected myself to become. You know, I've been friends with men all my life, I can stand up against them and count myself among them and I never let my self be patronised or dismissed or overlooked. But when it came to falling in love I tired so hard to make him happy that I just rolled over and took direction. Not like me at all, ask anyone!

Anyway, I had a conversation with a lovely man last night who always manages to pull me round and make me laugh at myself (only fair, I did laugh heartily at his dramatic break-up). I have lost myself a bit, but I feel like its coming back. My jokes have been getting filthier and filthier, I've been happily lusting after men and talking about cock pretty much constantly with my current live-in support friend. Things are looking up.

Yes. 

I went on a date a few days ago which went rather well. It was less of a date, more of me going to his house for dinner and eating him for dessert kind of thing but to be honest I really needed a good throw down and Mark is just perfect for that. He's a nice guy too, he's very much a normal guy, which is nice given my run of look with people that have a dangerous streak. That's not to say he's boring because he's anything but.

Well he's lit a fire under me anyway ;)

I think its time...

Yes, I absolutely think it is time for some rebound action.

Being emotionally bullied has not made my horny retreat any and to be honest, I could do with a good shag.

Ladies and gentlemen, the little black book is most definitely being dusted off and being called into action.

Developments

Soooooooo, hes a twat, no doubt about that now.

His Ex has rather amusingly turned out to be a scheming whore and only came up to see if she could get him back if she wanted him. She has now buggered off back to which ever rock she crawled out from under and now, guess what, JL wants me back!

His win me back campaign has been nothing sort of hilarious (for the innocent bystander, not so much for me at the time, but I can kind of see it now). He's been calling round at my flat (formerly our flat) at all hours asking to come in and talk. He CRIED AT WORK because I wasn't replying to his e-mails and was generally keeping out of his way for fear of actually strangling should he come into close enough proximity to me.

It's been hard because when all is said and done, I still love him. Part of me wants to comfort him when he looks so upset but more and more it is over shadowed by the part of me that feels utterly repulsed by the sight of him. 

It sort of doesn't matter now what his reasons were, I am not going to be made to feel like second prize to that scheming bitch, I am almost certainly worth more than that. Obviously I have my flaws (there's a list don't you know!) but actually I am a good person, I'm worth more than to be a consolation prize. 

Of all the horrible things about this situation, this is what has given my self esteem the biggest kicking. I feel like shes fucked off and hes thought 'oh well, back to her then, its the only option I've got'. When he says he loves me it feels like empty words because my experience of love does not involve cheating then pulling apart your partners insecurities for everyone to see then expecting all to be forgiven. Maybe it's because I simply cannot ever imagine myself doing that, so I find it so hard to understand how he could do it.

Urgh, I do feel shitty, I do miss him, but I don't miss the person he is now, I miss who he was a month ago when I thought we were more than happy, but kind of gloriously in love with each other. the flat feels empty without him around, especially since I gave all of his shit to the charity shop. I actually feel completely on my own now. Which a year ago was exactly how I was happy being, but now it just feels lonely and kind of suffocating. 

I just hope that that feeling is fleeting because I really do not want to cave in and take him back, I need to keep telling myself that I deserve better, because I do. but the thought of caving in is looming and I want to fight it off. I absolutely do not think that I can trust him again after he gave this up so quickly, how can I give him anything else now?